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One of the most tragic things I’ve observed while working with churches and for-profit organizations is the amount of leadership dysfunction and conflict that exists within them. Gallup research suggests that leadership teams rarely utilize more than 60% of their ability. Think of the potential for ministry and life change that’s squandered as a result.

How can we learn to resolve conflict more quickly in this rapidly shifting world where conflict seems to be everywhere? For starters, our effectiveness in our homes or organizations will skyrocket by avoiding these eight argument traps:

  1. Have an argument. Once you start an argument, not a discussion, you’ve already lost. Think about it: have you ever changed your mind because someone started yelling at you? They might get you to shut up, but it’s unlikely they’ve actually changed your opinion.
  2. Forget the pitfalls of Godwin’s law. Any time you mention Hitler or even Communist China or Bill O’Reilly, you’ve lost.
  3. Use faulty analogies. If someone is trying to make a point about, say, health care, try to make an analogy to something conceptually unrelated, like the space shuttle program, and you’ve lost.
  4. Question motives. The best way to get someone annoyed and then have them ignore you is to bypass any thoughtful discussion of facts and instead question what’s in it for the person on the other end. Make assumptions about their motivations and lose their respect.
  5. Act anonymously. What are the chances that heckled comments from the bleachers will have an impact?
  6. Threaten to take action in another venue. Insist that this will come back to haunt the other person. Guarantee you will spread the word or stop purchasing.
  7. Bring up the slippery slope. Actually, the slope isn’t that slippery. People don’t end up marrying dogs, becoming cannibals or harvesting organs because of changes in organization, technology or law.
  8. Go to the edges. This is a variant of the slippery slope, in which you bring up extremes at either end of whatever spectrum is being discussed.

So, what does work?

Earn a reputation. Have a conversation. Ask questions. Describe possible outcomes of a point of view. Make connections. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Align objectives, then describe a better outcome. Show up. Smile.

 

Content from Seth Godin’s blog.

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Go Deep

Superficiality is the curse of our age…The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent or gifted people, but for deep people. R Foster, Celebration Of Discipline

I recently joined a bunch of college guys on Purdue campus for a Bible study on spiritual disciplines. We pondered what practices equip us to be “more than conquerors” in our daily lives. The Bible is full of great examples but Daniel, the lion’s den guy, stood out.

Daniel was a young man from nobility, without any physical defect, handsome, showing aptitude for every kind of learning, well informed, quick to understand, and qualified to serve in the king’s palace. Who of us could maintain a humble heart with such recognition and potential?

Even so, Daniel was rigorous in his daily prayer life, diet, and lifestyle. Even a death threat couldn’t detour him!

As I thought about his example of discipline, I was deeply humbled by my casual Christian walk. We all were. It’s time to reassess our lifestyles and pray for wisdom to become “Daniel Deep.” If we can do this, we’ll have a chance to regain our influence with our youth, communities and culture.

As these statistics suggest, there’s definitely room for improvement:

  • Religious households give 2.26% of their income to charity, compared to 1.8% given by the general population.
  • If churchgoers all began giving 10% of their income, an extra $161 Billion would be given to charity.
The Empty Tomb, Inc.

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How to React to Chaos

Here’s some timely encouragement from Phil Cooke:

Right now we’re in the middle of the greatest crisis of our lifetime. Media companies, and others are shutting down almost daily, and people who were industry leaders a year ago are now looking through the classifieds. Churches, ministries, and non-profits are no different. If you’re in that boat, and while it may look like there’s no hope, let me remind you of something really important. Do you know what the following companies have in common:

Disney, GE, 20th Century Fox, CNN, MTV, Hyatt, Burger King, Microsoft, and FedEx.

They were all started during crisis periods of economic recession. What makes them different from you? Their leaders understood how to navigate the dangerous waters of chaos and change. They understood that times of difficulty and confusion are also times of great opportunity.

It’s time to look for daylight, focus on opportunity, adapt, make tough changes, see where others are complacent, and take a risk. Periods of disruption level the playing field, and can actually put you back in the game.

Let’s seize the moment to make ministry better!

The Suffer Point

think_aheadWe had a jamb-packed pastor’s lunch yesterday in Chicago where Evan McBroom taught that we often communicate “Too Much, Too Little, Too late.” Here’s a key takeaway:

Effective communication requires metaphors.

That’s nothing knew. Christ often used metaphors like I’m the light of the world, I’m the living water, or I’m the bread of life.

Metaphor’s are powerful tools. Another luncheon attendee, pastor  Tim Harlow, introduced me to this thought provoking metaphor this afternoon:

“The Suffer Point”

Tim shared how choosing a wrong direction in life leads to a painful destination. And at some point in that wrong direction we’ll eventually get to “The Suffer Point.” The point where we’ve experienced irreparable damage even if we turn around.  For example, if we fail to save for retirement until we’re 60, we no longer have time to build up a comfortable cushion and we’ll suffer.

This is sobering stuff and brought to mind a “Suffer Point” I inadvertently passed in 2009. Because of prolonged high cholesterol and high stress, I now have heart disease. I can’t go back…and a radical lifestyle change is required to arrest and hopefully reverse it!

Think carefully…what “Suffer Points” are you about to pass?

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Betrayal at Fort Hood

hasanAfter the tragic shooting at the Fort Hood Army base, we’re all wondering why Nidel Hasan’s classmates didn’t realize that he would betray them and get him some help before it was too late. This is what a recent Fox news article had to say about that:

A classmate of Hasan, meanwhile, told FoxNews.com that the warning signs were all there — the justification of homicide bombings; spewing anti-American hatred; efforts to reach out to Al Qaeda — but that the military treated Hasan with kid gloves, even after giving him a poor performance review.

This kind of oversight isn’t new. 2,000 years ago, the greatest betrayer in all of history was overlooked as well. Could Judas, one of the twelve in Jesus’ intimate circle, have plotted Christ’s betrayal without warnings that he was disconnecting from the group?  How could they have missed the fact that their fellow disciple was straying badly?

An earlier debate on who would be the “greatest in heaven” suggests that other things had taken precedence over the well-being of their friend. They were more concerned with their own promotion and legacy. Christ’s response to their selfish question was to hold a small child on His lap and say that unless we become as humble and gentle as that child, none of us will enter the kingdom of heaven.

Nor will we have a hope of preventing these murderous rampages in the future.

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I found some interesting statistics from my friend Rex Miller recently:

Churches struggle to get greater engagement from their staff and volunteers. In fact, they struggle more than companies. Gallup’s surveys show that only 17% of an organization is pulling the weight of the organization. 54% are going through the motions and 29% are undermining efforts.

tug of warOur conversations with hundreds of church leaders validate these insights. But isn’t it troubling that at least 83% of people in church are coasting or undermining their church’s efforts. Especially when the Bible is filled with references of being a “servant of all” and “loving one another.” And the numbers for churches are even worse than for secular companies!

How could profit-driven companies be more engaging than churches with a transcendental Kingdom purpose?

What say you?

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Your Walls Talk

200554102-001The walls of your church building communicate who you are. In fact, visitors decide in the first few seconds after pulling onto your site if your church is right for them. Are your facilities speaking the language of this “post- everything” world?

At the same time, we are also in a “pre” world. A world without final definitions…but with remarkable hope!

In the midst of these transformations, most church leaders are struggling to effectively connect and communicate. Are you?

Come join my friend Bill Couchenour and I as we participate in a Webinar sponsored by Christianity Today about surviving this post-Christian, post-modern, post-local, post-scale, post- Gutenberg, and post-Cold War worldcommunicate

Sign up below for this provocative conversation as we partner with Skye Jethani (author of the “Out Of Ur” blog and editor for Leadership Journal) to discern what the final destination could look like. We’ll explore how to refresh and refocus your church’s vision and align your ministry, leadership and facilities with it to create a clear and compelling environment. Find clarity with us to create hope and help engage and transform your community in ways that astonish others and leave them knowing that your church has been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13)

Webinar Date: November 17, 2009

Webinar time: 11:00 am

Sign up here at christianitytoday.com

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Where God Is Calling You

intersect_logo2Wherever the world’s great need and your great passion intersect – that is where God is calling you.

That’s a great thought from my friend Dave Ferguson.

LN I had the privilege of hanging out in Charlotte this week with Dave Travis of Leadership Network while hosting a Cornerstone Conference and speaking at the WFx Conference. Dave has worked with churches across the US the past 13 years and has a way of saying it the way it is. Check out his take on what’s happening and what’s not:

What’s happening:

  1. Mainline churches (Presbyterian, Methodist, Anglican, etc.) are in a serious decline with the average church size of 75.
  2. There has been a shift to larger churches with 57% of attendees going to a church of 400+ and 10% 2000+.
  3. At the same time, there is no abatement to “church planting,” as the brightest young leaders are no longer drawn to the large established churches and want to do their own thing.facebook 1
  4. Social media and web 2.0 is pervasive, with all Sr. Pastors under 40 using tools like Facebook, Twitter and blogs. (85% of all 18-29 year olds were on social media sites last month.)
  5. Internet church campuses are here and working.
  6. Multi-site and multi-venue is here to stay.
  7. There are more church preaching teams versus the star preachers of the past.
  8. Online giving is growing and makes up 80% of all donations in Europe.
  9. There are more multi-racial and international churches.
  10. People are envisioning ministry far beyond the walls of the church.

What’s not happening, though some say it is:

  1. The death of the mega church (2000+ weekend attendance).
  2. Any real significant growth of house churches or organic churches.
  3. Any real growth in downtown/urban churches.
  4. A change in driving habits – even though gas is more expensive.
  5. A change in the number of people claiming no religion.
  6. Any real significant growth in the Muslim population, which is hovering around 2-3%.

What’s not happening now, but is coming:

  1. budgetsWomen as teaching pastors.
  2. Foreign teaching pastors with accents.
  3. Missionaries to the US from outside the country.
  4. Missional/incarnational ministry strategies within the mega churches.
  5. Learning to live with shrinking church budgets.
  6. Online church leadership development.
  7. A change in the funeral business – boomers will reinvent funerals with more cremations and open mike community services.
  8. Outsourcing more church services.

What’s not happening, but should be:

  1. On-site health clinics.
  2. Off-site church office space.
  3. Church services targeted to the 55+ age group versus just the young parent crowd.
  4. Green buildings.

Anything surprise, encourage, or concern you?’

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We Marry Just Once

marriageMost Americans marry just once, according to new census data. The survey of 3 million households shows 76% of those who have ever been married have married only once. The Census also reports that the average U.S. marriage lasts 18.2 years.

Could that actually be true?

If so, what encouraging news!

From leadership Network Newsletter

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I recently received an email from author Michael T. Powers informing me of a copyright infringement concerning my May 25th post titled “Six Boys And Thirteen Hands.” I don’t recall where I came across the story but found it compelling enough to share here. Many of you were obviously touched by it as well as it has become my 6th most-read post.

Michael has a warm Christian spirit and simply asked that I remove my original post and, if interested, publish the story as he had written it and give him the appropriate credit. I was more than happy to do so because it’s a truly great story.

He’s been to the memorial 14 times and assures me there are only 12 hands. The 13 hand story is an urban legend that’s been around for years and went viral, ending up on my site? It’s a good lesson for all of us to be careful about the credibility we give unknown sources.

The Boys of Iwo Jima

(Froiwo jimam the book, Heart Touchers: Life-Changing Stories of Faith, Love, and Laughter)

by Michael T. Powers

Each year my video production company is hired to go to Washington, D.C. with the eighth grade class from Clinton, Wisconsin where I grew up, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation’s capitol, and each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall’s trip was especially memorable.

On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history — that of the six brave men raising the American flag at the top of Mount Surabachi on the Island of Iwo Jima, Japan during WW II. Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, “What’s your name and where are you guys from?

I told him that my name was Michael Powers and that we were from Clinton, Wisconsin.

“Hey, I’m a Cheesehead, too!  Come gather around Cheeseheads, and I will tell you a story.”

James Bradley just happened to be in Washington, D.C. to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good-night to his dad, who had previously passed away, but whose image is part of the statue. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington, D.C. but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night. When all had gathered around he reverently began to speak. Here are his words from that night:

“My name is James Bradley and I’m from Antigo, Wisconsin. My dad is on that statue, and I just wrote a book called Flags of Our Fathers which is #5 on the New York Times Best Seller list right now. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me. Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team. They were off to play another type of game, a game called “War.”  But it didn’t turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of twenty-one, died with his intestines in his hands. I don’t say that to gross you out; I say that because there are generals who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were seventeen, eighteen, and nineteen years old.

(He pointed to the statue)

You see this next guy?  That’s Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire. If you took Rene’s helmet off at the moment this photo was taken, and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph. A photograph of his girlfriend. Rene put that in there for protection, because he was scared. He was eighteen years old. Boys won the battle of Iwo Jima. Boys. Not old men.

The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the “old man” because he was so old. He was already twenty-four. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn’t say, “Let’s go kill the enemy” or “Let’s die for our country.”  He knew he was talking to little boys. Instead he would say, “You do what I say, and I’ll get you home to your mothers.”

The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona. Ira Hayes walked off Iwo Jima. He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, “You’re a hero.”  He told reporters, “How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only twenty-seven of us walked off alive?”

So you take your class at school. 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only twenty-seven of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes died dead drunk, face down at the age of thirty-two, ten years after this picture was taken.

The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky, a fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, “Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn’t get down. Then we fed them Epson salts. Those cows crapped all night.”

Yes, he was a fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of nineteen. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother’s farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. The neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.

The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley from Antigo, Wisconsin, where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Kronkite’s producers, or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say, “No, I’m sorry sir, my dad’s not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don’t know when he is coming back.”

My dad never fished or even went to Canada. Usually he was sitting right there at the table eating his Campbell’s soup, but we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn’t want to talk to the press. You see, my dad didn’t see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, ’cause they are in a photo and a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a caregiver. In Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died, and when boys died in Iwo Jima, they writhed and screamed in pain.

When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, “I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. DID NOT come back.”

So that’s the story about six nice young boys. Three died on Iwo Jima, and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time.”

Suddenly the monument wasn’t just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero in his own eyes, but a hero nonetheless.

Michael T. Powers
HeartTouchers@aol.com

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How Would We Live

butterfly

The following thoughts from a recent comment made me hesitate…and become quiet. Somehow they put all this cultural, economic, and political turmoil in perspective.

Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives…But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, the home of righteousness. So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him. 2 Peter 3

How would we live if we saw our lives as a stage before we broke free as a butterfly…and death as a door to what we were really made for…something we understood and craved our entire existence?

I think we would look more like the early church.

Do these thoughts center you as well?

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de-stress

slowcowWith everything from drinks to shampoo now coming with a caffeine boost to help consumers make even more of now, it’s no surprise that anti-energy drinks have started to pop up, too.

Launched in August 2009 and claiming “euphoric relaxation,” Mary Jane’s Relaxing Soda uses Fijian kava extract, which the company claims mirrors the effects of alcohol without the negative side effects. The soda also contains passion flower extract, a calming herb used to treat anxiety and insomnia. Similarly, Canadian Slow Cow is advertised as a “relaxing, anti-energy drink” promoting the benefits of de-stress.

Does the slow return of the US consumer and products like this suggest we’ve reached the peak of our hyper paced consumer culture?

Will we look back at 2009 as the tipping point away from consumer Christianity and towards more authentic, missional forms of ministry?

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27

Content from Trendwatching.com

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Now!!

energy-drinksCould the recent explosion in energy drinks be connected to “Nowism”? I doubt its what Christ had in mind with his advice that we “Take no thought of tomorrow”.

NOWISM – Consumers’ ingrained lust for instant gratification is being satisfied by a host of novel, important (offline and online) real-time products, services and experiences. Consumers are also feverishly contributing to the real-time content avalanche that’s building as we speak.

The power of all things ‘NOW’ can be traced back to the eternal lure of instant gratification reducing the ‘now’ to mere minutes, if not seconds.

It’s been a steady build-up:

Abundance

In an age of abundance, with a reduced need for non-stop securing of the basics, and physical goods so plentiful that the status derived from them is sometimes close to nil, only consumption of the experience* and thus the now, the thrill, remains.

Experiences

This focus on experiences, this living in the now, instead of in the future, this lust to collect as many experiences and stories as soon as possible, is addictive. Take travel: these days, it’s more of a basic consumer need than a luxury. It’s about detachment, fractional ownership or no ownership at all, trying out new things, escaping commitment and obligations, dropping formality, and of course collecting endless new experiences.

Online

In the still rapidly expanding online world, instant gratification is even easier to obtain: ‘digital’ has become synonymous with ‘instant’. Furthermore, if something digital/online is too slow, too cumbersome, too poorly written, or too boring, a substitute is only a search term and a click away. And yes, this is indirectly setting consumers’ expectations for the ‘real’ world, too.

How is “Nowism” impacting you, your family, church, or community?

Read the complete post from Trendwatchers here

Into This New World

The progressives of today’s Church feel compelled to speak the Gospel into our current environment (and the world of our children) and are striving to adapt. The more careful members of the Church see this environment as a threat to their lifestyle and spiritual walk and are determined to live as a “separate people.” The resulting polarization is leaving many churches and leadership teams confused and exhausted like never before.

Are we responsible for learning to speak the Gospel into this new world?

Should we help the next generation navigate this exhausting environment…or should we strive to protect our safe worlds and pull away?

Trendwatchers recently shared this helpful insight from Polish sociologist Zygmant Bauman:

zygmunt

Liquid Modernity” is Bauman’s term for the present condition of the world as contrasted with the “solid” modernity that preceded it. According to Bauman, the passage from “solid” to “liquid” modernity has created a new and unprecedented setting for individual life pursuits, confronting individuals with a series of challenges never before encountered.

Social forms and institutions no longer have enough time to solidify and cannot serve as frames of reference for human actions and long-term life plans, so individuals have to find other ways to organize their lives.

Such fragmented lives require individuals to be flexible and adaptable — to be constantly ready and willing to change tactics at short notice, to abandon commitments and loyalties without regret and to pursue opportunities according to their current availability.

Could the issue Bauman is discussing here be at the root of the conflict, polarization, and resignation we’re seeing in many churches today?

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