Many of us probably don’t think we share much in common with mega-church pastor, mega-celebrity, mega-author Rob Bell. But we may be wrong. Bell spoke recently at the National Pastor’s Conference about the “million little paper cuts” of criticism. He used that common pastoral experience to talk about the,
absolute imperative that we become masters at forgiving people.
Bell told the story of a letter he received from a supporter. In the note, the writer recounted how he defended Bell when another person accused him of being nothing more than “fluff and irrelevance.” The note was intended to edify and encourage, but Bell said the only part he remembered was the criticism.
That’s how ministry or any leadership role is. We tell ourselves that it’s really nothing, that you just have to laugh about it, and that those small paper cuts really don’t hurt. But they do and the only solution is forgiveness.
If we don’t forgive, three things could happen:
1. We will hold back from our prophetic calling. We won’t exhibit the courage our calling requires to speak the necessary but difficult things. If we’ve been wounded in the past when we’ve been vulnerable, honest, or challenging, we’ll be less likely to do it again. We will have learned “the painful reality that sheep have teeth.”
2. We will begin to list and label people in the church as being for us or against us. This, he says, doesn’t honor people and creates unhealthy divisions in the church.
3. We’ll indirectly seek revenge. It may come out as humor or sarcasm, or even covert gossip, but we’ll want to inflict some vengeance on those who have hurt us.
Bell offers an alternative response of forgiveness through three steps:
- Name it – We shouldn’t just ignore it or minimize it. By naming why we are hurt we can disarm the wound’s secret control over us.
- Accept it – Realize that you are hurt and don’t throw the pain back or nurse it secretly on the side.
- Absorb it – This is the most painful part—what Tim Keller equates with a form of death. It’s really awful to absorb the wrongs others have done to you, but on the other side of that death is new life; resurrection that will empower you to love more like Christ.
Rob Bell ended his session by pushing a shopping cart through the aisles as hundreds of pastors deposited papers into the cart with the names of people and congregations that had wounded them. Bell prayed over the shopping cart and for the hurting pastors in the room. It was a moving and very healing moment.
Content from: Out Of Ur blog
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